Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
