You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
