did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
