$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
