I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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