I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
