The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how does that bad decision feel?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
