Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
