glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
