Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This baby is an asshole
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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