We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
