Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
