Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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