I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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