and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
