you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
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Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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