Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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