Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
