The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
