Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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