Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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