I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
