ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
