I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize