I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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