its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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