Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
