This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
