i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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