I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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