I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
