no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
