I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sorry about my life...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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