that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
