I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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