Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
