last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is Oprah even human
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
