I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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