Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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