Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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