Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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