very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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