Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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