Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
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Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
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I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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