There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
