My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
