I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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