Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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