what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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