**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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