Pappa wants mamma naked
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
