i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
