dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
