Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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