yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
