Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize