Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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