he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
