brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
